Reflections & What Comes Next?
Mt. Rushmore, South Dakota
Readers – thank you for following my journey for the past 5 months! While we may or may not have met before, I appreciate the time you took to learn more about America, and hope you learned something new along the way.
For my last post (temporarily), I wrote a long-form essay which highlights my personal development on this journey. In a departure from my previous posts, expect honest transparency into how and why I think the way that I do, my humbling experiences from the road, my pursuit of truth, and my journey to become a hero. Above the content knowledge I gained, and interesting people I met, along the way, this journey radically shifted the arc of my life and strengthened my resolve to be a relentless force for good.
Use the summary below to read an overview of each section of this essay (I recognize this essay is long, and might be palatable over a few reads!)
Why am I here? – Learn what I believe to be my ultimate purpose in life
Combatting pessimism & nihilism – Learn why I refuse to allow pessimism or nihilism ever to enter my headspace
Restoring faith in people – Learn how people along the journey inspired and humbled me, and challenged my preconceived notions about Americans
Gratitude, truth-telling, and grace as engines for growth – Learn how I’ve ensured growth in my life by abiding by principles of “gratitude”, “truth-telling” and “grace”
The hero’s journey – Learn why I’m inspired to become the hero in my own life and within the lives of others, and read a final call-to-action for you, the readers
What comes next? – Learn about the upcoming reports summarizing insights from the interview tour
Thank you – A final expression of gratitude to the people who made this journey possible, fulfilling, transformational, and fun
Why am I here?
The unique chances of a single person existing, as a culmination of millennia of ancestral evolution with their exact genetic code (and above that, the exact social circumstance they are placed in today), is incredibly slim – researchers calculate the “chance of existence” at 1 x 10^2.6M. People have been afforded the greatest lottery to exist, and with that understanding, should take advantage of their opportunity and create the life which gives them the greatest fulfillment. Many are told to pursue a life of purpose by identifying their unique talents, then using those talents to achieve a series of challenging goals over the course of our lives.
Across the country today, a growing number of Americans are stifled in their ability to achieve their greatest potential, due to a combination of internal roadblocks and societal challenges. If people aren’t challenged to overcome internal hesitancy, aren’t given educational tools to chart new paths based on new skills, or aren’t able to achieve financial security or stability, their ceiling of achievement will be incredibly low. As their opportunities shrink, and hope for a fulfilling future is replaced by nihilism, it becomes easier to waste the gift of life. Then, imagine wasted potential and wasted lives at scale – no society and no collection of individuals will be able to move forward if the majority of a population can’t define their purpose in life, have no opportunity to break barriers impeding their growth, and therefore can’t have enough foresight to envision a better way of organizing society to tackle its greatest challenges.
Leaders should recognize when intervention is necessary to address tangible external barriers for people (increasingly necessary for certain challenges across the country today), but also have an obligation to provide the individual with enough tools and guidance for how to self-actualize towards a greater version of his or herself. People need to be shown they have more competency and more agency than they realize to weather pain and suffering in the present, and chart towards some greater destination. People might not have been encouraged by the others around them to dream more boldly, might have failed to reward themselves for a positive change in their life if they believe it to be too small or have come too easily, or might not have confidence in themselves to transcend their own inadequacies because those around them may not have transcended theirs.
One of my interviewees Kelly, CEO of ECHO in Nebraska, said it best, when she explained to me, “People don’t realize how easy it is to change a person’s life, with one conversation.” I thought back to the many inflection points in my life where I met the fork in the road between progress and complacency, and realized I needed a set of conversations with the right people at the right time to supercharge my direction towards progress. Someone in my life was able to bring out the best within me, either by telling a story of victory borne out of his or her experience, or providing a cautionary story of what I might become if I follow a path of complacency. That “someone” came in the form of people who knew me my entire life or a matter of days, and strangers who didn’t know me but spoke a story that added another piece to the puzzle for how I may define my life.
Without becoming too self-laudatory, I would like to believe I have done the same for people in my immediate life over the past 27 years. I’ve recognized the change in expression and the light that appears in people’s eyes when I give them attention and genuine praise for the achievement of a task (no matter how small or large). I’ve felt the same throughout this road trip as people who were strangers congratulated me on making it as far as I did, then artfully challenged me to set a new baseline and target for what achievement might look like, and then set course on life again.
I firmly believe people are more capable than they give themselves credit for, and a conversation can show them they’ve already conquered previous barriers in their life and have the opportunity to assume more responsibility. Ideally that creates a ripple effect out of the recipients of these conversations, as they have conversations with others in their life who have an opportunity to grow even further, and onward and onward the conversations go. If leaders can inspire conversations which acknowledge people’s fortitude while challenging people to design a life in pursuit of a meaningful goal, that will create a population of people working as a force for good, directed on the path of progress. With enough people on the path to progress, the country itself should progress as well.
“Why am I here?” I’m here to maximally improve the quality of people’s lives, in my immediate circles and the country at large. I’m here to improve the quality of their lives by unlocking their potential and providing a framework for choosing a path of progress, through my conversations. I’m here to show people their full potential is within their grasp, and though the pursuit of a meaningful life (however that is defined by the people I’m speaking to) is difficult, they’ve weathered enough storms to be able to take on this upcoming challenge. I’m here to create the ripple effect countrywide, hoping that the intentionality, authenticity, and appreciation I convey in conversations can be replicated, and people can then help others find their path of progress.
Combatting pessimism & nihilism
Of course, my desire to maximize the potential of every American quickly hits the (many) mountains of challenges facing the country. I’ve documented plenty of challenges in previous blog posts and the list continues to grow the more I travel. Sampling a few:
Multiple decades of globalization during President Clinton through President Trump’s presidencies have decimated once vibrant towns, led to a rapid exodus of jobs from America’s heartland, and decreased the quality of life in multiple communities
Wealth and investment dollars are increasingly concentrated in a handful of metropolitan areas and mega corporations, degrading economic opportunity in other parts of the country and shutting out small businesses, which further skews the balance of influence in the country
Politicians left, right and center use areas like Selma, AL as props for “social progress” when in reality, none of them meaningfully provides a pathway for economic growth to truly impact the lives of the disadvantaged in these areas
Billboards across rural America warn about opioid / prescription drug dependence, alcohol abuse, or child trafficking in their communities
The housing market is hitting a fever pitch across the country, pricing out local residents and workers, and hampering wealth accumulation for upcoming generations as select individuals buy and rent multiple properties
Vapid media institutions from the NY Times, CNN, and Fox News (yes, I made the equivalency across all of them) recklessly denigrate Americans “on the other side” and ratchet up rhetoric to make people believe their neighbors are ultimately a threat to their existence
These all leave a terrible taste in my mouth as I experience the range of emotions from frustration, anger, and sadness, but I refuse to allow pessimism or nihilism ever to enter my head. People generally accuse me of having naïve optimism in the face of America’s greatest challenges, believe my (teetering) faith in institutions to be blind trust, and often question my faith in others in the country to “do what is right” to steer the ship. Pessimism and nihilism are easier on the travel-weary heart which has seen how truly challenging life has become for people, and rather than assume responsibility for fixing these challenges, the easiest options would be to retract back to a smaller problem or assume the problem can’t be fixed and people will continue to suffer.
Pessimism and nihilism are also extremely easy to take advantage of by “leaders” that don’t have the country’s best intentions at heart. If people are demoralized, they are less likely to feel empowered to challenge the status quo, and therefore will never threaten the current “leaders” that placed the country upon this path. Optimism, while extremely taxing and opens up the possibility of being burned and betrayed, is the only option that allows me to believe the world can become a better place, and that people in this world are worth fighting for. As I described earlier, I’m responsible for ensuring the next generations of individuals will lead a life far greater, far more fulfilling, and far more prosperous than my own. My optimism gives me the confidence that whatever the problem may be, I or others around the world are competent enough to address it head on and create a better future.
Platitudes about the meaning of life and optimism to steer America are great, but I’m well aware the rubber will need to meet the road so these problems can be solved! My personal policy and private sector prescriptions vary across the set of challenges, and I’ll outline these in further detail in future posts.
Restoring faith in people
At this point, you’ve likely recognized I also hold an uncommonly optimistic view of other Americans. After the past year, I was told by the mainstream and “influential leaders” that I should have encountered unsympathetic, racist, distrustful anti-maskers with an inability to relate to my life in “blue” America on this road trip. I’m grateful to report that after my 50+ formal interviews and countless other interactions, I did not have 1 negative interaction with a person across the country. 0! For all the concern and aggressive marketing by the mainstream the past year, I made it 5 months without threats from my fellow Americans.
What I witnessed instead was an impressive and beautiful display of empathy, comradery, intellectual horsepower, and altruism by people of all walks of life. There are hidden gems of leaders all across the country, doing thankless work to build a better country for themselves, their family, and the community at large. Sampling a few of the stories that inspired me (many more to come in future posts as well!):
I am inspired by the (to remain anonymous) mother in Utah who bucked social pressure and nursed her daughter out of drug addiction / challenges with homelessness the past few decades, and finally got her daughter sober and employed
I am inspired by Kelly in Lincoln, Nebraska for her tireless work to help immigrant women in her community achieve self-sufficiency by building out their entrepreneurial ideas
I am inspired by Matt, Jona and Scott in Nebraska for having a relentless desire of scaling up entrepreneurial activity, venture capital investment, and tech talent in Nebraska, to compete with power centers in the coasts
I am inspired by Ashtyn and Andrew in Wichita, KS for using COVID as an opportunity to start their entrepreneurial ventures, and pursue passion projects despite odds being stacked against them last year
I am inspired by the individuals at the Equal Justice Initiative in Montgomery, AL who memorialized 4,400 lynchings from American history, and are helping communities acknowledge a challenging past, while forging a strong foundation for a better future for all Americans
I am inspired by Emily in Dayton, Ohio, for her empathy and status as de-facto community leader in the Oregon District, and desire to become an active community manager helping the disadvantaged in Dayton
I am inspired by the multiple successful achievements of people’s “American Dream”, and their ongoing desire to chase dreams to its fullest
As cliché as this phrase is, more Americans need to realize “people are more than the label you’ve been trained to see them as.” The capture of my thoughts, ideas, and sentiments about other Americans by the mainstream and my local communities is disturbing to think about in hindsight, and I apologize to all the strangers, and people I met the past few months, who I incorrectly pegged. It wasn’t fair, and I wasn’t a better person for it. I’m asking for forgiveness, so that I can now set the course for a better future together.
Gratitude, truth-telling, and grace as engines for growth
Each conversation caused a deconstruction & reconstruction of my personal understanding of myself and other Americans, the principles for how I interacted with others, and my concept of what was “right” for progress to occur in the country. Within the first few interactions with people, I had to admit to myself that the previous moral and intellectual certainty I held was built on a shaky foundation. People I’ve interviewed can attest to my naivete on specific topics, and they rightly showed me how much more complicated the country’s challenges are than the general consensus acknowledges. Whether it was conversations about policing, race relations, the transition to the clean energy economy, mental health, frameworks for innovation, government vs. private sector intervention, or any other issue affecting national discourse, I was humbled daily by people telling me the truth as they lived it.
“The truth” can be a loaded phrase, but I now recognize the dangers which occur when people are afraid to speak the truth, particularly to themselves, before it’s too late. Many assume “too late” is the brink of violence, but a step before that is people’s loss in confidence in themselves, because they come to realize their identity is based on incomplete information or outright lies which were never challenged. The reason I held walls of certainty was because I didn’t acknowledge that I had gaps in knowledge created by a genuine lack of true intellectual curiosity, which manifested because of my arrogance in my abilities. The reason I believed I was on the moral high ground was because I was surrounded by a similar set of people who preached a specific outlook on “what was right” my whole life, and I was afraid any challenge to that understanding was actually a challenge on the fabric that shapes who I am. Both of these roadblocks were impeding my growth as an individual, and as those were lifted, conversations on the road and with people in my life radically shifted.
Every conversation then became an appreciation of the knowledge and life experience of the person I spoke to, and a realization that at minimum I can capture one piece of information that I can weave into the new fabric of my life moving forward. I was grateful for all the individuals I spoke to, for their stories, and their advice for my life. I was more grateful as interviewees connected me to other members of their communities, which furthered my project and made my experience as fruitful as possible in their states. I was even more grateful to the country at large, as I started fully realizing these interactions were occurring by the millionfold on a daily basis – people coming together to make the wheels of the country operate and to help their fellow Americans when asked.
By no means do I want to convey that I’ve perfected this art of gratitude and truth-telling – I’ve learned to acknowledge and reward the progress I’ve made, while extending grace to myself as I made mistakes but knew I had the opportunity to try again. Grace for ourselves is often difficult to extend, given we are all our own worst critic, but absolutely necessary to ensure we remind ourselves that we, like everyone else, are not perfect and on a long journey of improvement. Unfortunately, grace has also come in short supply in interactions with fellow Americans, as many assume people who have not achieved the same moral or intellectual understanding as themselves are lost causes, should not be given the time to learn and grow into a new philosophy, and therefore are irredeemable. I’ve seen this occur on both sides of the political spectrum, and as it occurs, people are further set and entrenched in old beliefs and are more resistant to changing their perspectives. Possibility for growth towards a shared understanding is impossible at this point, and then a productive conversation can no longer happen.
Like yourself, nobody in this country is perfect, and everybody deserves grace when they recognize earlier blind spots as they navigate towards a new belief system. All the individuals I spoke to patiently and gracefully allowed me to fill my gaps in knowledge with their lived experience, their ideas, and their philosophies. My perspective has changed more than I could have imagined because I was provided a forum to break apart previous thoughts, which would not have been possible if people didn’t allow me to make mistakes, recognize my mistakes, and build a stronger understanding of the topics at hand.
The hero’s journey
Throughout my childhood, superheroes like Batman and Captain America had a strong influence in how I dreamt of my own future. I had visions of running through burning buildings, flying off NYC’s skyscrapers and fighting villains until I “saved” the people which were harmed the most. I’d marvel at superheroes’ abilities to wear the weight of their city on a daily basis, with an unbending sense of morality in the face of brutal villains driven by the singular mission of causing chaos. These superheroes provided me with an ideal to strive towards, as they showed me the innate strength and courage a single person can have to tackle and conquer personal and societal problems.
Stories of heroism far preceded comic superheroes like Batman and Captain America. Heroes came in the form of religious deities who willingly assumed their followers’ suffering so people may forge a less difficult path towards their greatest potential. Heroes came in the form of actual men and women who dreamt of a future which overcame villains of their present so that people at large can live a better life. I recall the heroism of George Washington and the founding fathers to overcome the tyrannical villains of the British Empire, motivated by the belief that the life of colonials would be better if the colonials were given the opportunity for liberty, self-governance, and full agency for their futures. I recall the heroism of Abraham Lincoln to begin to fulfill the Declaration of Independence’s initial promissory note of ensuring “all men are created equal”, willing to endure a 4-year long war with the tyrannical villains of the Confederacy to ensure America eventually lived to its greatest ideals.
Each of these stories of heroism requires an intersection of (1) a competent person with passion to lead a life of meaning, (2) a villain whose sole desire is the destruction of that passion, and (3) a set of events which awakens that passion, and causes the individual to finally answer the call and recognize how to use their competency to conquer the villain and save the world. Clinical psychologist and university professor Jordan Peterson explains, “The hero is not always the person who wants to fight the villain, but the person who is able. It’s not the person that wants to fight the dragon that does the task, but the one called to duty based on his or her ability and potential.”
I’m disheartened by the leaders elevated as “role models” in mainstream conversation today, since they have generally abdicated their duty to guide Americans on a path of unity, and abdicated their responsibility towards guiding the country towards progress. I don’t believe we have prominent leaders who are willing to fully face the villains of our time, have humility to recognize they’ll lose from time-to-time, nor provide tools for others to join the battle against the villains in their life. Whether it is due to a pursuit of vanity, power, influence, or wealth, many “heroic role models” have succumbed to their internal villains, and as such limited the potential to be a force for good nationwide.
As you read this, you may question, “Arjav, why do you believe you’ll be different? We’ve seen honest actors before, all eventually bending to the villain of the day. What makes you different?” To further my transparency in this essay, truth be told, I can’t promise you that I won’t lose to the villains in the future (nor should anyone be able to promise that to you). However, this journey has allowed me to weave examples of leadership from other Americans into my identity, and it’s my intention to embody those principles and use them in the ultimate battles against villains of the day. I can promise my unbending optimism, expressions of gratitude and grace, and my pursuit of truth will guide the course of my life and my interactions with others, so that I and others are striving towards fulfillment of a greater potential. I can promise to assume more of the country’s burden, because I know I have the skillset and an incredible network of individuals to keep me humble and on the path towards progress.
Our country can’t survive on this path if we don’t have unifiers and problem solvers removing impediments from people’s lives. Villains of our day have grown far too powerful as we’ve waited for “more capable”, “more intelligent”, or “more seasoned” people to create solutions to problems that are clearly ignored. I’m past armchair critiquing the state of the country without actively taking a role in guiding the direction of the country and “stepping into the arena”. I’m past watching Americans believe each other to be the villain, when I’ve demonstrated throughout the journey that is just not the case. Abraham Lincoln explained this best in his first inaugural address, “We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory…will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as they surely will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
I can say confidently I will believe I have wasted my talents, my potential, and my life if I haven’t attempted to bring out the best version of every American, and created a country that far outlasts my life. I’ve realized that the historic American heroes I revered the most generated enough positive value to transcend their life, so future leaders can stand atop these values to build an even greater future than they could imagine. They equipped future generations with a rubric to challenge old and new villains, knowing full well they would never see the benefits of that rubric in their lifetime. The rubric I’d like to lay for future generations is one that defines how Americans can rediscover comradery in the face of supreme division, one that acknowledges internal villains as a barrier to ultimate self-actualization, and one that enables people to unlock the limitless potential within themselves. As I described earlier, with enough people becoming the greatest version of themselves, I know there will be more heroes with enough ability and potential to tackle society’s greatest villains and finally enable our country to become what I already believe it is, and can always be – the greatest country in the world.
I’m asking you, reader, to think about what you could do, would do, and should do to truly maximize your potential. Pursue life experiences which allow you to succeed and fail in new ways, leans you towards the path of purpose and progress, and provide you with honesty, humility, and gratitude moving forward. Trust you will be able to weather the increasingly difficult challenges you’ll encounter as you assume more responsibility for the direction of your life, and if that becomes tiresome, trust the people around you to support you. I may not know you personally, but believe you’re capable of more than what you believe to be possible.
A memorable quote from this year explained, “the only reason we’re here [on Earth] is to live a life, which in retrospect, we are glad that we lived.” You’ve been given the gift of life based on incredibly slim odds - dream to make the most of it, and as you do, be attentive to how much positive change you inspire around you. You’ll be the hero of your own journey, and the journey of others as they look to embody some of what makes your life special. You’ll become an incredible force for good, and I’m confident that alone will make you glad to have lived your life.
What comes next?
The Next Tide will publish two reports on October 8th, 2021, summarizing findings from the cross-country interview tour:
Report 1 will highlight the disparity in economic opportunity between urban & rural geographies, and outline strategies and initiatives implemented to spur economic growth outside major metropolitan areas across the country
Report 2 will highlight the current state of America’s social fabric, the dangers of enhanced polarization and fraying ties between Americans, and fundamental principles more Americans can unite upon in order to heal fractures in the country
These reports will be free, publicly available, and widely distributed
In October, I’ll also share information on how this project evolves moving forward, and how you can continue to follow along for updates.
Please feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn to learn about my personal professional updates.
Thank You
First & foremost, thank you to my parents for arriving in America and taking on an unbelievable amount of sacrifice and responsibility to ensure my sisters and I could freely pursue whatever life we choose in this country. I’ve seen the impacts of deeper poverty in America, effects of instability in the home, and the strain caused by a lack of a meaningful community – you both ensured I wouldn’t face any of that through the sheer force of your determination and hard-work, and made me a stronger person. Thank you to my sisters for being the heroes in my life, for giving me virtues such as compassion, honesty, creativity and unbelievable resiliency – all of which are integral pieces of my identity today. I love you all, and can’t wait to see you in a few short days.
Thank you to the 56 individuals who responded to my outreach emails or cold walk-ups, took a chance on a random guy from New Jersey with wide-eyed optimism attempting to solve problems in the country, and shared a treasure trove of information about your work, thoughts on the country, and advice for life. You’ve each inspired me, challenged me, changed my understanding of America, and given me confidence in the caliber of people who are doing their best to create a better country for us all.
Thank you to the countless family members, friends and former colleagues who spent multiple hours on the phone with me on-the-road, provided words of encouragement, and listened to my epiphanies about the country. You might have felt like it wasn’t much effort, but it meant the world to me on my side. I’m constantly impressed with, and grateful for, the people that have been a part of my life the past 27 years, and know I will always root for your successes as well.
Thank you to the following family members, friends and former colleagues who visited me along the journey, welcomed me into their homes or took time to reconnect in-person and chat all things life. A solo trip for 5 months isn’t easy, so I’m even more grateful for these folks for making my travels more enjoyable (I hope they would I agree I did the same for them!). Thank you to: Taylor / Allie & family, Devin, Maddie, Emily H, Jeff & family, Maitri, Rahul / Vinit & family, my aunt Asha & family, my aunt Nayna & family, Matt, Emily M, David, James, Nirav & family, Molly, Hanna, Hannah, Leslie, McKenna, sisters Pooja & Shreya, Nupoor, Danny, Holly, Mr. & Mrs. Mehta, Justine, my always great Mom, Suhani, Janki & family, and Siddharth & family. You’re all rockstars!
Last but not least, thank you, America – while my faith wavered at times in my early life, I’m now even more grateful for the opportunities you’ve provided to me. I’ll do my best to shoulder more responsibility to create a country more Americans can be proud of. I’ll have spectacular successes and failures along the way, and I know this journey won’t be easy, but it will always be guided by my relentless love for this country, and love for its people.
With enormous gratitude,
Arjav
